Tag Archives: grief

Discover Pink: Team Margaret

28 Oct

Two years ago my best friend lost her year long battle with breast cancer. She was 29 years old and left behind a plethora of people who were devastated at losing this vibrant, caring, daughter, wife, mother, and friend.

From the time that she was diagnosed a week after the birth of my daughter my Mom began planning ways to help support my friend and myself. One of the ways that she found was to gather a group of people to walk with the YWCA (Salem, Oregon) Discover Pink breast cancer walk.

My Mom and I have continued to walk in this walk, along with many others who loved and supported Margaret. I choose to walk Discover Pink over Koman simply because it is based in Salem, Oregon the town that Margaret and I met and attended junior high and high school in. The money raised from this walk goes to help people in the community who can not afford diagnosis and treatment pay for it.

The walk this year was held at the Salem Conference Center and passed through the Salem River Front taking us by the Salem Carousel, the Earth Ball, and over the Salem Foot Bridge that was converted in more recent years from a train bridge. It was a beautiful Oregon fall day, crisp, sunny, and cool. Walkers were cheered on and directed by Derby Girls.

This year is the forth time we have walked. We walk with Margaret’s parents, mother-in-law, children, my family, high school friends, and many others who show up to support her family and myself. I am grateful to all who come walk with us and help me to remember my friend and give back to the community, hopefully making it so that another person is more fortunate.

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You can read about my day of remembering here. Read words from Margaret about her Punch Fight With Cancer here.

A Day of Remembering

10 Apr

This last weekend I was celebrating my best friend’s birthday, she would have been 31 (see a post about what I did last year here) but died from cancer, September 21, 2010 at the age of 29. I decided to go on a hike that she and I had done together more than a few times with our kids. I was hoping that the lily field would be in bloom but it looks like it will be a few more weeks (it has been unseasonably cold).

There were some very cute little blossoms on a bush that I think was a huckleberry bush but I am not all that sure.

This hike felt great and it was so beautiful out during the morning, I felt very at calm but still felt like something was missing. After I finished the hike I wanted to try a few other hikes and headed out to Beacon Rock but it was so windy I could hardly push my car door open against the force of the wind so I skipped that one.

I felt myself searching the rest of the afternoon feeling like I was looking for something. Feeling quite discontent and restless at every stop I made. Finally after driving over the Bridge of the Gods (which I wished I was walking over, what a view) I pulled over. I stood at a wall looking over the cliff at the bridge. Suddenly I realized that I could not find contentment in this journey, on this day, because some small part of me was still trying to find my friend.

This realization was amazing, maybe a bit overwhelming as well. I don’t know why but it didn’t even cross my mind the last few times I have attempted to really concentrate on celebrating or remembering her. Those times have included: her birthday last year when she would have turned 30, the 1 year anniversary of her death (also my daughters birthday), or most of this day, spent searching and feeling incomplete and dissatisfying. So although that realization has me in tears (literally) I think it did make me come one step closer to dealing with her death and oddly making that day feel more complete.

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