A Day of Remembering

10 Apr

This last weekend I was celebrating my best friend’s birthday, she would have been 31 (see a post about what I did last year here) but died from cancer, September 21, 2010 at the age of 29. I decided to go on a hike that she and I had done together more than a few times with our kids. I was hoping that the lily field would be in bloom but it looks like it will be a few more weeks (it has been unseasonably cold).

There were some very cute little blossoms on a bush that I think was a huckleberry bush but I am not all that sure.

This hike felt great and it was so beautiful out during the morning, I felt very at calm but still felt like something was missing. After I finished the hike I wanted to try a few other hikes and headed out to Beacon Rock but it was so windy I could hardly push my car door open against the force of the wind so I skipped that one.

I felt myself searching the rest of the afternoon feeling like I was looking for something. Feeling quite discontent and restless at every stop I made. Finally after driving over the Bridge of the Gods (which I wished I was walking over, what a view) I pulled over. I stood at a wall looking over the cliff at the bridge. Suddenly I realized that I could not find contentment in this journey, on this day, because some small part of me was still trying to find my friend.

This realization was amazing, maybe a bit overwhelming as well. I don’t know why but it didn’t even cross my mind the last few times I have attempted to really concentrate on celebrating or remembering her. Those times have included: her birthday last year when she would have turned 30, the 1 year anniversary of her death (also my daughters birthday), or most of this day, spent searching and feeling incomplete and dissatisfying. So although that realization has me in tears (literally) I think it did make me come one step closer to dealing with her death and oddly making that day feel more complete.

4 Responses to “A Day of Remembering”


  1. Weekly Photo Challenge: Journey « Emilia Brasier Photography - April 11, 2012

    […] is the path that I took my most recent journey on. It is Round Lake, which is a part of the Lacamas Lake hiking trails. They are fantastic […]

  2. Camas Lily Field: Anticipation « Emilia Brasier Photography - April 13, 2012

    […] my hike last weekend I went up to the lily field hoping that they would be in bloom but not really knowing […]

  3. Discover Pink: Team Margaret « Emilia Brasier Photography - October 28, 2012

    […] can read about my day of remembering here. Read words from Margaret about her Punch Fight With Cancer […]

  4. Tryon Creek: Part 1 | Emilia Brasier Photography - April 30, 2013

    […] April 7 I celebrated my best friend’s birthday (she would have been 32) by walking at Tryon Creek State Park. It was a wonderful day with sunlight […]

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